


last christmas.

by pyroallerdyce



Series: a dyad in the force (aka all my ben/rey fics) [176]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Christmas, December writing challenge, F/M, Getting Back Together, Inspired by Music, Past Relationship(s), Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Relationship(s), Short One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28304586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroallerdyce/pseuds/pyroallerdyce
Summary: Ben woke up around three o’clock and sighed when he realized he was late.  He quickly jumped through the shower and headed into the kitchen to get something to eat.  Looking over at his calendar to see if there were any deliveries coming that day, he noticed the date.  He’d known that the year anniversary of his breakup with Rey was approaching, but the day had finally arrived.  His eyes flicked from the calendar to where he’d hung a picture of the two of them, and he felt a pain in his chest that he’d never known he could experience before.He missed Rey so, so much.or:  Ben owns a bar, and it's been exactly one year since he'd last seen Rey.  But Rey comes into the bar with something to say.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: a dyad in the force (aka all my ben/rey fics) [176]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601755
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28
Collections: December Writing Challenge - 2020





	last christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> December writing challenge day 24. Merry Christmas Eve! This one was challenging.
> 
> Yes, there will be a story tomorrow for Christmas.
> 
> and as always, if you like what you read and you want to see more, please let me know via a comment or kudos or bookmark so that I know I'm not writing into a void. enjoy!
> 
> December 24 Prompt: “Last Christmas, you broke my heart. But I’m still not over you.” (imaginesandsmut on Tumblr)  
> Title Song: Last Christmas by Wham!

Ben woke up around three o’clock and sighed when he realized he was late. He quickly jumped through the shower and headed into the kitchen to get something to eat. Looking over at his calendar to see if there were any deliveries coming that day, he noticed the date. He’d known that the year anniversary of his breakup with Rey was approaching, but the day had finally arrived. His eyes flicked from the calendar to where he’d hung a picture of the two of them, and he felt a pain in his chest that he’d never known he could experience before.

He missed Rey so, so much.

They’d been having ridiculous arguments about stuff that really shouldn’t matter, but three days before Christmas last year, everything had blown up into the worst fight Ben had ever been in. Rey had moved her stuff out by the time Ben got back from visiting his family for Christmas, and he hadn’t seen or heard from her since. 

Fuck, he missed her so, so much.

Ben took a deep breath, looked at the picture once more, and then headed to the bar. He’d opened the bar almost three years ago, and as he made his way there, he tried to focus on that upcoming anniversary in January instead of the anniversary he was experiencing that day. First Order was his salvation in the days after Rey had left. It would be his salvation today too.

He got there right as a delivery showed up, and then he threw himself into getting the bar ready. Things were ready to open at four-thirty like usual, the doors were unlocked, Ben got behind the bar, and then his normal routine began. People filtered in and out of the bar, a few less than usual because of the holiday being so close, but once six o’clock hit, business really picked up. Ben appreciated the distraction of having to constantly make drinks for his customers.

But then around nine, a woman sat down at the bar and Ben stared at her in disbelief. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. 

Rey.

Ben took a deep breath and walked over to her, giving her a slight smile when she looked up at him. “Welcome to First Order,” he said, his throat tight. “What can I get you?”

“Knickerbocker,” Rey said. “Make it a double.”

“Coming right up,” Ben said, beginning to work on the drink. He wasn’t going to say anything until Rey did. She was the one who had come into the bar. She was the one who clearly had something to say. Nope, he wasn’t going to say a thing.

Neither, apparently, was Rey. She sat silently as Ben made her drink, murmured thank you when he slid it across the bar, and then stayed silent. Ben just watched her until he had to get back to work, but his gaze kept drifting over to where she was slowly drinking the Knickerbocker.

A Knickerbocker. 

The drink that Ben had introduced her to on their first date, the one that she’d fallen in love with immediately, the one that she had later told him was the start of her falling in love with him. She came into the bar exactly a year after she left him and ordered a Knickerbocker.

Ben really didn’t know what to make of it.

As the night continued on, he would go over to check on Rey, she would say that she was fine, and then he’d go back to work. The bar was actually busier in the later hours than he’d expected, but eventually, closing time came. He started to usher out the stragglers but Rey didn’t move from the bar. When one of his employees tried to get Rey to leave, Ben shook his head and called out. “She can stay!”

The man nodded and moved on to the next person, and Rey turned to look at Ben for a moment before turning back around. He knew that she had something she wanted to say, and now he knew that she was waiting until it was just the two of them to say it. 

He wasn’t sure that he was going to want to hear it but hear it he would.

When all the stragglers were gone, Ben told his employees that he’d close up and told them the bar would be closed until the twenty-sixth. He handed out some bonus checks, wished everyone Happy Holidays, and then it was just him and Rey. He made sure that the doors were locked, the neon open sign was off, and then went back behind the bar.

He should finish closing up and leave, and he knew it. He should be moving on and he knew that too. He should not be listening to whatever it was Rey was going to say. 

Instead, he made himself a New York Sour, leaned against the wall, and looked straight at Rey. “Last Christmas, you broke my heart. But I’m still not over you.” 

Rey closed her eyes and took a long sip of the drink she’d barely touched. “I know. And I’m not over you either.”

“I find that very hard to believe,” Ben said, his voice a bit harsher than intended. “I mean, you are the one who left.”

Rey took another long sip of her drink. “I deserve that.”

“Quite frankly, you deserve worse,” Ben said, all of his feelings about last year coming to the surface. “We had a fight, Rey. Alright, it was a bigger one than usual, but it was still just a fight. It was something that could be easily solved once we’d both cooled down a little. Instead, you ran off to Finn’s instead of going with me to my grandparents’, and when I got home, your stuff was completely gone and there was a note on the counter that simply said ‘It’s over.’ Things were a little rough but they could have been fixed. Instead, you just ran away like a coward.”

Well, Ben hadn’t meant to call her that, but it was true so he wasn’t going to apologize for it. 

Rey downed the rest of her drink and took a deep breath, looking straight into Ben’s eyes. “Yes, I’m a coward. I completely fucked up the one good thing that has ever happened to me because I was scared out of my goddamn mind. Finn tried to tell me I was making a mistake but I was so angry with you that I thought that I wasn’t. I have missed you every night ever since I left, but I tried to tell myself that things were better this way. You weren’t the one. I’d find someone that would make me forget you ever existed. But instead of you slowly slipping away from my thoughts, you just invaded them more. 

“God, Ben, how many times I wanted to just come in here, apologize, and tell you that I made the worst mistake of my life when I decided to leave. And I did it in such an awful way too. You deserved so much better than that. Fuck, how you deserved better than that.”

“Rey,” Ben said, stopping her. “What were you so scared about?”

“Because you were it,” she said softly. “And I never thought I’d find you. But once I realized I never wanted things to end, I started fucking everything up so that they would. I don’t deserve to be happy like that. Not after everything I’ve been through.”

Somehow, after all ways that this scenario had played out in Ben's head over the past year, he'd never once thought that what Rey had just said was all he'd need to hear.

But it was.

Ben sighed and polished off his drink, turning around and grabbing a bottle of rum. “Here.”

Rey watched as he poured her a shot and slid it across the bar, and then she smiled. “It’s supposed to be vodka.”

“Yeah, but you were drinking a Knickerbocker. I don’t want you to mix what kind of liquor you’re having. You don’t drink much and you getting sick in the middle of this would kind of kill the mood.”

Rey laughed. “This wasn’t supposed to be this easy.”

“Tonight is easy,” Ben said. “Tomorrow is harder. That’s when we have a real conversation about what happened and how it isn’t going to happen again. Then we build back up to where we were before. But for tonight, we toast each other and then decide whose place we’re going back to.”

“Do you still live in our apartment?” Rey asked as Ben poured himself a shot as well. 

Ben closed his eyes at the use of the word ‘our’ and nodded. “I’m a masochist. Living there without you is hell, but I do it.”

“Well, maybe we’ll be living there together again soon,” Rey said, picking up her glass.

“Maybe, but it’ll be a while. We’re starting over.”

“Starting over?” 

“Yes,” Ben said, picking up his glass. “You and I are starting over. We’ll probably escalate things quickly, but we’re starting over.”

Rey watched him for a moment before nodding. “To starting over then.”

Ben held out his glass and Rey did the same. “To starting over.”

They clinked their glasses against each other’s before knocking back the shot, and then Ben gave her a big smile. “Christmas was going to suck, you know. It sucked last year and that was even before I knew you’d left.”

“But it’s not going to suck now?”

Ben grabbed the empty glasses and took them into the back so they could be washed, then went back out front. He ducked underneath the bar as Rey climbed off her chair, and once he reached her, he pulled Rey to him and kissed her as deeply as he dared. Rey practically melted in his arms and Ben couldn’t help but think that they were both right where they belonged.

He knew starting over was the right thing. He knew they should take it slow. It had been a year, after all, since they’d last seen each other.

Patience. He needed to practice patience.

But the ring was still in his nightstand.

Ben pulled back and tucked Rey’s hair behind her ear. “Do you have plans for Christmas?”

“Sitting in my apartment doing nothing,” Rey said. “Why?”

“Because I am not going to my grandparents’ this year and would like some company.”

Rey frowned. “You’re not speaking to them again?”

“No, no, I am,” Ben assured her. “I just need a break and the big Skywalker family celebrations are not relaxing. So I said I’m not going this year, explained my reasons why, and they all understand.”

Rey smiled. “Then I would love to be your company.”

“Excellent,” Ben said, looking around to make sure he’d done everything he needed to. “Let’s go home.”

Rey grinned. “Yeah, let’s.”

As he locked up the bar, Ben couldn’t help but think about the ring again.

He would be shocked if he made it three days without telling her about it.

More shocked if he made it five days without giving it to her.

Patience. He needed to practice patience.

But he knew one thing. This Christmas would be much better than the last.


End file.
